I recently shared a fear of mine that I experience every single time I host a Zoom event. There’s a moment, maybe for a few minutes, as I sit ready but before people connect, that I wonder if anyone will show up. That I’ve become aware of this voice is progress. That I speak it is progress. AND it is still present. It was present last week during my book release. Dozens of people...
Pinball has been a hobby of mine for almost 10 years. “A world under glass” is often how each game is described. There’s something really engaging about watching all the physical interactions of the ball, as it moves around the playfield, up ramps and down again, getting rocked around by pop bumpers, the lights flashing in your face, the “clackity clack” noise of all the solenoids firing. The...
Despite my best efforts, I still fall into comparing myself with others and then feeling less than. It happened this past week. I was doing a bit of research on podcasts I might want to guest on. I did some searches around the idea of life after you leave your business. I found some, and then I started seeing the little bios of the successful “exits” of the guests. Here’s the thing – I’ve...
My wife, Robin, and I have been doing weekly couples therapy for the past year. We started just before the covid lockdowns hit in March 2019 and we still see our therapist together on Zoom every week. Our goal was after over 20 years together, we both aspired to grow our relationship to a place we don’t even know exists. It will only be knowable when looking back. I want to look back 5 years from...
At the depths of my crisis, my acute imposter syndrome, my overwhelming anxiety, it got to the point where I felt you could hold a gun to my head and order me to do the work I needed to do, and it still wouldn’t get done. You would have to kill me and I would accept my death. The fact that I was making millions of dollars during this same time period compounded everything to me. I couldn’t...
There’s a feeling I trigger often in people. Maybe you’ve experienced it yourself. When you’ve been in the audience for one of my events, one of my Zooms, read one of my articles, or watched a video of mine. I didn’t even realize I was doing it, until very recently. It was instinctive in me, I make myself feel good when I do it, without realizing it. My superpower is: I elicit awe in people. I do...
I used to carry so much shame about my failures. I never spoke them. I hid them from the world. I projected my strengths and hid my weaknesses. I only spoke about my victories. Yes, that sort of works, and it will impress some types of people, but at some point it just wasn’t working for me anymore. It fed my imposter syndrome. My list of failures I carried like the chains the character Marley...
I recently was watching the movie Kill Bill on Netflix. I saw it when it was new and was enjoying revisiting it. There was a scene that jumped out at me with new gravitas. It was a scene between “Bill” (played by David Carradine) and “The Bride” (played by Uma Thurman). This is a transcript of the monologue from that scene. Bill As you know, l’m quite keen on comic books...
By 2012 my life was on a trajectory I hadn’t experienced before. Real financial stability. I had huge monthly dividends arriving, had moved out of my apartment, had a bank account flush with cash and for the first time in my life nothing to worry about. There was one fly in the ointment though – my brain was so conditioned to worry, to my precarious life, to living on the edge, that...
There are 92 people on the email list for this blog. Of that, approximately 35% open each email. That gives me a weekly readership of 32 people. By any standard metric that seems tiny. Email lists are generally measured in thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands or even millions. Followers on social media sites are measured the same way. 32 people reading what I have to say barely...