I started this blog exactly 3 years ago. This will be the 160th article I’ve written for it.
When I started it, I was in a dark place and starting the blog was my attempt at trying to figure out “What’s Next?”.
I was making millions of dollars and feeling like a fraud. I was really unhappy. I have lived experienced that money does not buy happiness.
I knew the status-quo was untenable, and began the process of what my next steps could be.
I knew I wanted to help people, but I didn’t know how or in what way, or even who.
My first articles were very practical small business tips and life lessons I’ve learned.
A month later, I started seeing a psychotherapist twice a week. You can see my writing start to shift. An early piece was about the word “authenticity”. I was intrigued at what it might be like to live an authentic life after my years of feeling like a fake.
Conversations about my sense of self really pulled me in. My “work week” shifted to introspective work every day in some fashion. Whether taking courses, therapy (looking backwards at my life), coaching (creating a future), or conversations with people. This became “what I do”.
What a gift to take this time at this point of my life to immerse myself in this kind of work.
The following January, I began a long term coaching relationship with someone named Amy. When she brought her curiosity to my DJ days it all of a sudden made completing my 14-year-old unfinished memoir the most important thing in my life.
Completing that book is a huge life accomplishment. Its greatest gift though was allowing me to re-integrate that part of my life into who I am today as opposed to seeing it as something I did a long time ago that is long behind me. I now embrace being the underground rave DJ, but let it show up in the things that are interesting to me now.
I still see my therapist twice a week, going on 3 years, and speak with my coach, Amy, going on 2 years. Our conversations have changed. I am no longer treating my “presenting symptoms” of anxiety and imposter syndrome. The conversations have gone much deeper. I know what it’s like to do deep work with someone over that scope of time because I’ve done it.
And at some point my blog evolved again. My writing prompt for every article became “What do I need to hear most right now?”.
In a way, this blog became about helping me. I suppose it always was to help me. And I can appreciate when I show up from that place, it can be a very powerful one for my readers to witness and draw their own lessons from that they can integrate.
Beyond the value in what I get writing to myself, I take some perverse pleasure in knowing how few subscribers I have. I’ve spoke to a lot of you, and I know what my writing means to you. That is what drives me, more than any simple metric.
I’m no longer telling, but showing, and once things are seen they cannot be unseen.
You, the reader, have had a front row seat to my own personal journey. I thank you for your part in all this.
I started this with a simple commitment to myself – write something once a week. This is article 160. It’s a tremendous accomplishment, but it was also easy, taken 1 week at a time over 3 years.
What simple yet important action can you take and let it build from there?
