I could tell I’ve been feeling in the doldrums lately and decided to take action. I put out a last-second invitation to my Frolic100 list to witness me using my most powerful tool, what I call my Statement of Being. Things began to change for me the moment I committed myself to this. I now had a date on the calendar (only a few days away). I knew it was more important to me to do it, and be with...
One thing that has become crystal clear to me is from my years of working through my imposter crisis is that I have an incredible understanding of “How” I best do things. I learned this because to overcome my crisis I had to switch from feeling like a fake to owning my successes. I learned how to identify my retroactively provable truths, some of which is documented in what I call my “Statement...
I’ve been dealing with a lot behind the scenes. One of the things I’m learning about myself is my natural habit of soldiering on in the face of huge adversity and not revealing to anyone else what is going on. I tend not to talk about the tough times in my life until they are in my past, and then they become stories I share. My challenge now is to share what I’m going through and allow myself to...
“I’ve never seen someone so happy writing a $250,000 cheque for their taxes before”, said my accountant. The thing was – I was happy. I was happy I had the money, I was happy to put my tax bill behind me, no need for deferments or other tax planning trickery. Many years ago I avoided my taxes. I was late filing them, and my avoidance was so bad I didn’t file for years and went through a personal...
From my perspective and my own life’s experiences, there is only one thing that separates those that achieve great things from those that don’t; those that achieve take action, and the ones that don’t only dream. My own life forever changed because of an action I took when I was only 12 years old. I walked into a business and asked for a job. When they declined, I didn’t take no for an answer and...
I was recently invited and challenged to attend an event in San Diego this August. This triggers a lot in me. The short version of this is that over 20 years ago I was caught, detained and deported for working in the US without a visa as a DJ. This happened in 2000 (prior to 9/11 when we took the border much less seriously). The last time I tried was in 2005, when I was denied entry and held...
One of the questions I’ve asked myself in recent years is why did things get so difficult for me later in life? Things like my imposter syndrome turned into a full-on crisis. The things I did to protect myself, like hiding from people, had me acting in completely unreasonable ways. I was afraid to speak up at my own family table. I spent years on stages and somehow got to the point where I felt...
At the depths of my crisis, my acute imposter syndrome, my overwhelming anxiety, it got to the point where I felt you could hold a gun to my head and order me to do the work I needed to do, and it still wouldn’t get done. You would have to kill me and I would accept my death. The fact that I was making millions of dollars during this same time period compounded everything to me. I couldn’t...
I used to carry so much shame about my failures. I never spoke them. I hid them from the world. I projected my strengths and hid my weaknesses. I only spoke about my victories. Yes, that sort of works, and it will impress some types of people, but at some point it just wasn’t working for me anymore. It fed my imposter syndrome. My list of failures I carried like the chains the character Marley...
At the worst of the depths of my imposter syndrome I felt like Bernie Madoff. I had fooled the world, or at least that is what I thought. It was only a few years ago, as I looked for things to do with myself, I didn’t even feel qualified to judge a high school business competition. Seeing those teenagers in their suits and ties, future MBA students, and here I was, the high school drop out...
By 2012 my life was on a trajectory I hadn’t experienced before. Real financial stability. I had huge monthly dividends arriving, had moved out of my apartment, had a bank account flush with cash and for the first time in my life nothing to worry about. There was one fly in the ointment though – my brain was so conditioned to worry, to my precarious life, to living on the edge, that...
“I’ll work for free” was how I got my first job. At age 12 I walked into a newly opened computer and video game store and somehow had the courage to ask for a job. When I was turned down, working for free was my solution. They accepted. I worked for free for the next several months, then below minimum wage (because I wasn’t even at legal working age). I was paid $3.00 an hour, when minimum wage...
Some time ago a coach I knew shared a story with me about the year he spent volunteering in a homeless shelter. One day this homeless man came in, with absolutely no possessions except 3 plastic bags. He had been robbed at a park, all his meager possessions were stolen. His one remaining possession was an old cell phone. The robbers had taken it, it dropped on the ground and the battery fell off...
1. I’m not a coach. I don’t call myself one. 2. I’m a high school drop out without a piece of paper with my name on it. 3. I have an income that comes from a business I created and has nothing to do with coaching. I don’t rely on coaching for money. 4. I paid for and abandoned my coach certification. I threw that money down the toilet. 5. I don’t have large social media following. Well, none at...
My birthday just passed. Normally I’d take my family to a nice restaurant and that’s our treat. This year, because of covid, that went out the window. We’d stay home. Because I “lost” something, I asked myself how can I celebrate my birthday this year? I came up with 3 things: Gratitude Acknowledgement of what an incredible year this has been Spend it with my family...
I love metaphors. I’ve learned I use them more than the average person. I did it so often and so easily most of my life I didn’t even realize it. Now I see it, and lean into it. I use metaphors to describe abstract or complicated ideas or even feelings and turn them into something easily relatable. One of my favorite metaphors is thinking of myself as a gunslinger. I think of watching...
I speak with people quite a bit who beat themselves up with all their “failure” stories. They think their failures mean they are not successful. The reality is failure is a necessary part of success. There is no one in the world that hasn’t failed, multiple times, at everything. The most successful people have the biggest failure stories. Myself included. We are taught to not speak of them, to...
I’ve been dealing with complicated feelings lately. It’s this idea that while people out there are struggling, unprecedented unemployment and uncertainty, that at the same time I’m in a good place, emotionally and financially. I actually feel like I’m thriving. As someone that’s gone through tough times in the past, I’ve always prepared myself for the worst. I’ve never shaken the fear that...
As I write this we’re over 1 month into covid-19 quarantine. My kids were sent home for March Break last month and told they’d not be coming back for 2 more weeks. That’s been extended indefinitely. Everything has been turned on its ear since then. For the past couple of years I’ve been trying to work out “What’s Next?” for me, and that question now has entirely new meaning. As I wrestle with...
I’ve been dealing with the “What’s Next?” question for myself for some time. I’ve spent a lot of time writing about it for my blog. I’ve learned many people carry that question with them and it has resonated. Now “What’s Next?” is a bigger question than it’s ever been. With my background, I feel uniquely qualified to help people work...
I’ve always been forced into action, usually for straight up survival reasons. If I didn’t make money, if I didn’t generate income, I’d be screwed. Often the things I did ran their course, and it was time for me to move on. There was no choice about it. For the first time in my life, I’m not in this position. I’m in a very comfortable place, yet I’m...
For the last few years that I’ve been exploring “What’s Next?” I’ve been very successful at learning what it isn’t. As I test, explore, research, and play with ideas I’ve built a very long laundry list of things I don’t want to do. This includes everything from the fact that I don’t want to go into work somewhere, it has to be done from my...
For so many people, whether or not they will voice this, when asked “What do you want?” the (secret) answer is: “More”. More money, more “stuff”, more house, more vacation, more whatever. The thing is, when you get “more”, the answer still remains “more”. I can remember 10 years ago figuring out my monthly budget. If I could generate...
I’ve spoken quite a bit about sleeping on the floor of my office for 2 years at the start of my DJ career, but it wasn’t all clear sailing from then on. One of the biggest struggles of life came AFTER my DJ career had ended. In the year 2000 I got myself banned from the United States for DJing without a work visa. Getting the right paperwork proved difficult, and eventually I just...
My memoirs of my rave years has just been released, titled Requiem For My Rave. A requiem is an act of remembrance. The second part of the title refers to “my” rave. This thing that I created and suffered in service for. I started writing the book at the conclusion of my rave company, Hullabaloo, in 2005. I finished the first draft in 2009. I then hit “save” and ten years...