My wife and I have been together for 23 years, 18 of those married. For most people that see us, we come across as a very successful couple, because we are. However, because we are always striving to be more, we decided to start couples therapy this year. The goal was to look back in 5 years time and say these most recent 5 years were our best years, in ways that we couldn’t comprehend today. I...
There’s an old school computer programming term called “Close to the metal”. It means you’re working with assembly level languages that the chips and hardware understand, rather than much more easier for humans to understand higher level languages. This was more important back in the day with limited hardware and memory power. You had to squeeze everything you could out of...
A few weeks ago I was inspired to challenge myself again. I needed to up the amperage on “What’s Next?” I asked myself this question: What scares me? After I sat with that for a bit, I answered it with this doozy of a question: Who do I need to be to charge 1 million dollars for 1 day of my time? I was less scared of this idea than excited by it. This is me challenging myself in the right way and...
For the past few years, ever since I made the decision to step away from daily responsibility of the company I co-founded, I have been pursuing ideas of what I thought I should be doing. Basically making the world a better place. Aspiring to be selfless. Helping others. Problem was, after a couple of years of this, I realized none of my ideas were taking root. I’d come up with great thoughts and...
Many years ago when I was still DJing I was waiting to be picked up at the Arrivals section of Chicago O’Hare Airport. I was standing by the driveway where cars picked up the waiting passengers. Beside me was a teenage girl and her mother. They had a few suitcases, coming back from who knows where together. As I waited for my pickup, a car pulled up in front of the mom and daughter. A man...
I was recently having a Zoom discussion with a bunch of online peers. Most were acknowledging, if not outright complaining, about how over-scheduled their lives are. Earlier in the call I had confessed that while a lot of them are taking this month off for vacation, I had never taken a vacation in my life. I am totally serious. I don’t know what that is. Every trip I’ve ever taken in...
I speak with people quite a bit who beat themselves up with all their “failure” stories. They think their failures mean they are not successful. The reality is failure is a necessary part of success. There is no one in the world that hasn’t failed, multiple times, at everything. The most successful people have the biggest failure stories. Myself included. We are taught to not speak of them, to...
Today I was asked to reflect on what is going on. I remember driving from Toronto to Chicago for the first time in 1995 to attend the Consumer Electronics Show for work. As we drove into Chicago, from the highway I had never seen such blight before, empty buildings with no windows, and then us in the car had a realization and spoke it: “There are people living in there!” My other...
I was speaking to my accountant this week, for the first time in close to a year, as we discussed filing my taxes. We chatted a bit to catch up. Knowing I am not actively involved with Stealth Seminar any longer he asked what I’ve been doing. “Mostly taking the time, working on self-development, exploring new avenues, figuring out how I can help people. I’ve taken some courses on coaching.” “You...
I’ve been dealing with complicated feelings lately. It’s this idea that while people out there are struggling, unprecedented unemployment and uncertainty, that at the same time I’m in a good place, emotionally and financially. I actually feel like I’m thriving. As someone that’s gone through tough times in the past, I’ve always prepared myself for the worst. I’ve never shaken the fear that...
“You’re watching me make this up” – I can say this to a stranger now because there is nothing fake about me. It’s been liberating. I’m not faking till I make it. Not anymore. That was a strategy I used effectively for years but not now. I’m showing up as the whole Chris. That is who they are there for. There is no faking that. They’re either going to want more of that, or not want it, and if they...
I’ve been in a holding pattern for a lot longer than covid has been around. My life, generally, is good. Yeah I’ve been searching for “What’s Next?” and have felt something missing for a long while, but overall not much to complain about. These would be referred to as “Quality problems”. Most people right now have frozen their lives and are waiting for it to return to normal. But you, the reader...
As I sat to write this week’s article that famous quote from Back to the Future popped into my head from out of nowhere. It’s the scene from the very end of the first movie. Doc has just returned from “the future” and now he’s taking Marty back to the future. Marty: Hey Doc, you better back up, we don’t have enough road to get up to 88. Doc Brown: Roads? Where we’re going, we...
I just did an exercise to “write down 5 things you’ve accomplished this week” and it was actually hard to come up with the list. Without intention, I realized I had cut my schedule way back in response to over-scheduling myself. When the Covid-19 lock-downs hit and things got serious I rallied to support people. I scheduled Zoom conferences, connected with new people, wrote a lot and worked on my...
The world is changing in ways we can’t even prepare for. A month ago seems like a year ago. What next month, or next year will look like is impossible to predict. I only control the things I have control over. For me, in the immediate short term, is that my family and I are safe and have the things we need. Then it’s the “What’s Next?” question. As an entrepreneur...
I had a really bad day recently where I broke my “news diet” rule and checked my phone first thing for Covid-19 news as I woke up from bed. I read all the latest to immediately catch myself up. I then paid the price with waves of physical anxiety, chills, that I was convinced for a few hours I HAD it. I told my kids’ to not use the bathroom on the main level, I texted my wife...
I’ve been dealing with the “What’s Next?” question for myself for some time. I’ve spent a lot of time writing about it for my blog. I’ve learned many people carry that question with them and it has resonated. Now “What’s Next?” is a bigger question than it’s ever been. With my background, I feel uniquely qualified to help people work...
As I write this it has just been announced that my kids’ school will be closed for weeks after March Break as a precaution against the COVID-19 virus. NBA season was cancelled, NHL season cancelled, Disney has closed its parks, large companies are sending their people to work from home, concerts are cancelled, corporate events, people are cancelling their vacations and travel plans. At...
There’s a handful of negative words that I’ve begun to reframe. Being Bored is one of them. In today’s world we do everything we can to avoid boredom. People can’t even drive their cars any longer without also engaging in dangerous distracted driving. Every day I get scared looking into my rear-view mirror and seeing the tell-tale sign of the person behind me looking down...
The doldrums is a sailor’s term for when they are at sea caught in calm, monotonous, windless weather. It’s a term that I’ve learned can also apply to times in your life, and certainly has in mine. The doldrums generally follow exciting times, times of tremendous growth and commitment to your goals. After having achieved some success, things begin to taper off. This is...
I’ve always been forced into action, usually for straight up survival reasons. If I didn’t make money, if I didn’t generate income, I’d be screwed. Often the things I did ran their course, and it was time for me to move on. There was no choice about it. For the first time in my life, I’m not in this position. I’m in a very comfortable place, yet I’m...
As the new year (and new decade) begins, I get very reflective. I’m coming off of what ended up being 2 years off. And by off, I mean off of traditional work. Just over 2 years ago the decision was made that I would step away from my responsibilities at Stealth Seminar, that a new team would come in to replace my work. I had reached the limits of my abilities, and it was time to change...
I recently attended a 4-day workshop in my home city of Toronto. I decided to full immerse myself into the experience by treating it sort of like a “staycation” by booking a hotel walking distance from the venue. This meant after each day I would not go home. I would not visit my family and switch to being a family man. I would stay immersed in my experience, allowing myself time for...
I’ve come to embrace the idea of living with paradoxes. Two completely competing thoughts or ideas or states of being, that both can be true even if they counter each other. The most recent example was with my son’s performance in high school. His grades leave something to be desired. I want to really push him to get those grades up, at the same time I acknowledge that the life...
I’ve spoken quite a bit about sleeping on the floor of my office for 2 years at the start of my DJ career, but it wasn’t all clear sailing from then on. One of the biggest struggles of life came AFTER my DJ career had ended. In the year 2000 I got myself banned from the United States for DJing without a work visa. Getting the right paperwork proved difficult, and eventually I just...